Stress!

Tomorrow morning I am off to the doctors. 3 hour drive full of stress. I am not looking forward to this appointment personally it is a waste of time, all they are going to do is order more tests and tell me to come back.

Ugh I hate doctors I am tired of all this crap and if I do yet again have another kind of cancer to add to my collection I doubt I am doing chemo or anything again. I can't go there again, my life is so screwed up no one here will take care of me or things around here so I would rather enjoy what is left.

If I had stuck to my initial thought back in 1988 and refuse chemo and radiation I would not have had all these other cancers, my second husband probably would not have left and I may very well still me alive. I only changed my mind cause the first doctor I went to was an ass and said I was suicidal because I was refusing chemo and rad. I thought the guy was going to send me to a psyc ward. I ended up changing doctors.

Anyway I am stressed tonight and oh husband has no clue he never listens. He is on the boat appearently he does not need to care or be concerned it does not directly effect him or his family. I tried to tell him what is going on he is not intressed at all, so I have to deal with it all on my own. .